Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Britain's Got Talent

Let’s Get in Our Morning Cry, All Right?

Because that’s what normal people do, isn’t it? They watch some heartwarming video in the morning to make them cry, and then in the afternoon they pull out a solid excerpt from a good book for some midday tears, and they end the day by thinking about the top five saddest moments from their life and reliving them? And they see monster hands reaching for them out of the corners of their eyes? This is what everyone does, right? Right?

Anyway, it doesn’t matter if all of that is normal or not, because every one of you who watches this video will surely burst into tears, or at least get some moisture in them eyeballs. Ok, at the very least, you’ll smile a little. This video is that powerful.

It’s a video of a recent audition for Britain’s Got Talent, and it’s inspiring. The video features a seventeen-year-old boy named Jonathan Antoine, his BFF Charlotte, and his unbelievably beautiful singing voice. What makes it all the better, of course, is Simon Cowell‘s reaction to the whole thing. As Jonathan and Charlotte make their way onstage, Simon leans over to fellow judge Carmen Electra and says “just when you think things couldn’t get any worse.” His remark wasn’t really surprising – Charlotte looked pretty put together, but Jonathan looked like your average socially awkward teenage boy, and even though he’s very manly, Simon Cowell isn’t exactly known for being the sweetest dude ever – but boy, does he change his tune after Jonathan starts singing. Just go back up there and skip to about the 2:16 mark to see Simon’s face. Priceless.

People are calling this kid the next Susan Boyle, I guess because she was on the same show and was also shy and awkward, and also because apparently most people are super surprised when conventionally unattractive people have talents. Whatever the reason, I’d say that the future is looking pretty bright for young Jonathan Antoine here. Oh, and, uh, Charlotte too, I guess.

Did you cry? You cried, didn’t you?

Miley Goes Off the Rails!

Oh, I so totally fucking called this.

Looks like Little Miss Sexpot gave a performance of epic proportions last night on Britain’s Got Talent. Critics say that Cyrus “cavorted on stage in a skimpy basque [a bodice/corset-type thing] and ripped fishnet stockings, and pretended to kiss a female dancer.” And not only did she try to pull a Britney with the fake-lesbian kiss, she allowed another male dancer to grab her tits on stage during the skit.

See, Liam? See what you’re giving up? This chick clearly can’t be tamed. So go ‘head. Get some.

(But honestly, now, the “reviews” that people are making a big stink about, I think, are a little off the mark, to be quite honest. The boob grabbing was nothing more than a hand across the chest, and even when I played the video back a second time, it didn’t appear that Miley actually even came near to planting a kiss on the female dancer’s lips. So, yeah. A bit boring. But hey … It could happen, right?)